Success is Not The Best Revenge

We have been inundated with the popular phrase, “success is the payback”, for too long. People who use that phrase may have genuine reasons why they use it or think that way, but it still sounds like a defeatist way of reasoning. It is something we have all heard: “… The best revenge is a success.” Sure, it’s appealing. After all, what could be more satisfying than making amends with someone who wronged or ignored you?

Wouldn’t it be great to have them on the sidelines, watching you thrive while they sit there wishing they could undo all the ways they’ve wounded and undervalued you? I mean, it is possible. At least for the time being.

However, I’m willing to wager that the satisfaction that comes with a vengeance is as short-lived as the presence of “your enemy” in your life and as fleeting as their thoughts on your ambitions and goals. Because, sad to say, these folks do not live their lives thinking only about you. They are preoccupied with themselves. To be clear, this does not make them horrible people. It simply humanizes them.

There are several instances when people feel success is the best revenge for someone who hurt them. One is where they apply for a job, and they feel they are the most qualified for the position. When they do not get it, they feel cheated in a way. They would want to succeed to spite the organization and make it feel like it has lost an asset. At the same time, they forget that they are suspending their happiness to satisfy a bitter feeling. By acting this way, they enable the persons they feel lost, out of them still have control and drive over their decisions. Therefore, also determining the validation they may never get, and leading them to perpetual sadness.

Another common instance is when a guy asks a lady out, or vice versa and is rejected; the individual then works very hard to make the other person rethink the decision they’ve made or regret missing out on them. However, where this plan does not work out, and the other person who rejected them meets a better person, they would be left devastated because they couldn’t get back at that person the best way they felt. Revenge, in my opinion, is a negative word and feeling, and doing anything with that in your heart will only fuel anger, dissatisfaction and disgust. Spending time and energy on being angry or getting revenge is something that ultimately results in absolutely nothing. No gain for you. Spending time and energy following your passions is something that ultimately results in great things for you. Why would you waste your time on anger/revenge?

So, instead of getting back at someone, why not move on from the traumatic experience by acknowledging it, working through it in whatever healthy way you can. Then, you can turn the page and focus on the things that make you happy.