Memories

I’d start with a snippet of Maroon 5 song

Here’s to the ones that we got
Cheers to the wish you were here, but you’re not
’Cause the drinks bring back all the memories
Of everything we’ve been through
Toast to the ones here today
Toast to the ones that we lost on the way
’Cause the drinks bring back all the memories
And the memories bring back, memories bring back you

There’s a time that I remember when I did not know no pain
When I believed in forever, and everything would stay the same
Now my heart feel like December when somebody says your name
’Cause I can’t reach out to call you, but I know I will one day, yeah

Memories, whether delightful or sour, have a way of sticking with us forever, and we don’t have the luxury of choosing the one we want to remember. They come like a flash in the pan and it’s left to us to either dwell on them or not. I often wonder whether memories are a blessing or a curse. Whether it’s a lovely present or a severe punishment, because my recollections prevent me from thinking clearly. I’ve seen folks smile when they consider something. They don’t seem to mind or are oblivious to the fact that others are present. They don’t just remember the good things; they also consider what would have happened if they could change that particular event, chance, or opportunity. I have the same thoughts and feelings, and I dig deeper into my thoughts and feel sad. Maybe that’s what they mean when they say “overthinking.” So we’re left wondering why we can’t change our past with the memories we have, only to feel terrible that we didn’t do it right then: unrequited love, one incorrect turn in the road, one harsh remark that came out, one word that wasn’t even said between two, one wrong answer in the exam hall, and so on. Or, with that remorse, we move forward in time to remedy our faults, transforming our future into a corrected past. And if someone were to read our entire story, they might conclude that we have made improvements and will make more in the future. They may also be oblivious to the pain.

Memories matter a lot. Happy memories, according to Meik Wiking (author of The Art of Making Memories), are critical to our mental health. They strengthen our sense of self-identity and purpose, as well as our bonds with others. In order to be happy in the present, it is necessary to have happy memories. When we are young, everything is new to us. We are experiencing so many new things that we are building very powerful memories. However, as we become older, it becomes more difficult to turn events into memories and reap the benefits of their happiness-inducing properties.

It’s very important to make a conscious effort to make good memories. We should take on challenges, endure struggles, and feel acute lows and highs. We remember only what we have to overcome. Relate with people, don’t leave an isolated life and use people as a key variable. Great memories usually involve other people.

“IN THE END… We only regret the chances we didn’t take, the relationships we were afraid to have, and the decisions we waited too long to make.”